Day One

Since planning ahead gives both girls the willies, they set out at 7 am on March 26th with a very solid plan to "figure it all out later".  While paying infinitely more attention to their iPod than their GPS,  they made it through Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana before pushing through to Chicago and meeting up with THIS total babe:

Ok Girl Two is an absolutely appalling photographer, but in case you can't tell it's the lovely and talented Ashlee Moskwa.  The girls found a parking spot that George Costanza himself would cherish, right in front of her fancy building.  They had dinner and beers at Stout and did lots of reminiscing before heading back to Ashlee's gorgeous apartment, where they spent the night.  Also, Ashlee lives down the street from a fancy princess castle:

This is a castle right in the middle of Chicago, erected in 1802 to house visiting European dignitaries and styled to mimic European castles of old so visitors would feel more at home.  Just kidding, I totally made that up. Don't ask Girl Two what the hell that actually is...it's some sort of princess castle landmark.  Probably a brothel.  Or like, an elementary school.  No idea.

Noteworthy: while dining at Stout, Girl Two realized that she was sitting with two girls with some of her most favorite handwriting of all time (Girl Two has a weird thing for cool handwriting).  Check out Ashlee's swag signature:

And SwagBabe's:

Crucial.  Anyway...some other things that happened prior to Chicago were that while in the passenger seat, Girl Two tried to remove orange streaks all over her arms caused by an absurdly misguided attempt at sunless tanning by smothering her skin in nail polish remover, courtesy of these adorable nail polish remover packets supplied by the one and only DJ (thanks babe!).  Needless to say, she almost asphyxiated the entire car, and is still woefully orange.  Also, she bought a  50-cent "Mustache Disguise" from a rest stop vending machine in Ohio as a romantic gift for a very special dude.

Additionally, a paunchy 50 year-old man claiming that he routinely hung out with Nirvana ("Dave Grohl is tall"), hung out with the Smashing Pumpkins in Milwaukee ("What's that guy's name?") and insisting that Eddie Vedder had tried to steal his ex-girlfriend ("Eddie Vedder has B.O. and is boring") tried to woo SwagBabe at an Ohio Starbucks.  SwagBabe was having none of it and sipped her green tea looking supremely disinterested as Girl Two dragged her away whispering about "human trafficking".

Also, c'maaan, the lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins is Billy Corgan.  The girls listened to both discs of SwagBabe's copy of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (purchased from The Wall!) in his honor.

Slim P needs a cup of coffee (so demanding!) so we bid you adieu for now.